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Flakiness, time wasters ... horrible communication': Why the San Antonio dating scene is so bad - Modern Mingle

Flakiness, time wasters … horrible communication’: Why the San Antonio dating scene is so bad

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For singles in San Antonio, it can feel like there’s not much hope in the city’s dating pool.

That sentiment has been expressed multiple times on social media. A recent example came on March 3, as an anonymous Facebook user took to the “Ask a Local” page to ask San Antonians why the dating scene in the Alamo City was so bad.

“For the two years I’ve been down here from Ohio it’s been abysmal and a headache to say the least,” the participant wrote. “I tried all the apps and its the same results, flakiness, time wasters, and the main culprit: horrible communication.”

Dating experiences are subjective and vary widely based on individual preferences, gender and other factors, according to Melanie Shores, director of matchmaking at Modern Mingle, a San Antonio matchmaking service. Some people may still have positive experiences in the San Antonio dating pool, Shores said, and the dating scene in any city is influenced by many factors and can fluctuate between individuals.

“That said, San Antonio has a lower proportion of singles than other major cities in the United States, which can account for some of the challenges,” Shores wrote in an email. “Others have mentioned a limited number of places and/or single-related events available, which also minimizes opportunities.”

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San Antonio is growing at a faster rate than the vast majority of the country. Those arriving to the Alamo City in search of a partner will experience a dating scene different from other parts of the country in multiple ways. Among these, according to Shores, are a family-oriented culture, the large military presence and an emphasis on outdoor activities.

“San Antonio is known for its rich cultural heritage,” Shores wrote. “This diversity can influence dating patterns and expectations, as different cultural groups may have different customs and values regarding dating and relationships.”

San Antonio’s vibrant food and drink scene can also make for “interesting and diverse” date-night options, Shores added.

However, multiple factors can also make singles in San Antonio lose faith in the city’s dating scene, from limited options to frequent rejection, lack of time to online dating fatigue. Vulnerability may also be a challenge for some, with people finding it difficult to trust others enough to form meaningful connections.

“To remedy these feelings, singles may want to try a new approach to dating, such as expanding their social circle,” Shores wrote.

For those who have already lost hope in San Antonio dating, Shores recommends getting involved in volunteering or joining community organizations to meet people who share similar values and interests. Attending events and activities, however limited, may also be of interest, including local clubs, groups and trying new hobbies.

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“Be patient and persistent,” Shores wrote. “Finding a compatible romantic partner can take time and may require some trial and error.”

Dating in 2023 may also be harder and more complicated than in previous eras, due to changes in social norms, technology and the rise of hookup culture, Shores wrote.

“In the past, people tended to date within their social circles and often had more traditional gender roles and expectations. Courtship was often more formal, and the dating process was more structured and deliberate. In contrast, today’s dating culture is characterized by greater individual freedom, more fluid gender roles and more emphasis on casual sex and hookups,” Shores noted.

While dating apps and social media have made it easier to connect with potential partners, they also created new challenges, including romance scams, fake profiles, ghosting, catfishing and false representation, Shores added.

“We believe dating has become more challenging and complex for the above reasons,” Shores wrote. “The key is to approach dating with an open mind, be proactive, be respectful of others, and communicate honestly and directly.”

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